


Familiar Sounds of Torment

by gwenwrites



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 07:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5959120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenwrites/pseuds/gwenwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Finn has trouble sleeping. His mouth mumbles and his jaw clenches, sweat beads on his forehead.</p>
<p>Finn has trouble sleeping, and Poe doesn’t know how to wake him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiar Sounds of Torment

Sometimes, Finn has trouble sleeping. His mouth mumbles and his jaw clenches, sweat beads on his forehead.  
Finn has trouble sleeping, and Poe doesn’t know how to wake him up.   
He hates seeing it. In the dim light, Poe stares as his friend traps himself in the sheets by tossing and turning. Then, Poe feels trapped in his own bed. Could he get up and make it through the five steps between his own and Finn’s bed? Could he shake the man awake, and tell him it’s alright?  
He would rather run a hand through Finn’s short hair, while kneeling beside him. He’d rather wake him up slowly, softly. Whispering that he was safe, even though he really wasn’t. That Poe would always be there to wake him up, even if he can’t.   
Instead, he stares.   
Poe hates himself for it. He can wake up in the morning and go save the galaxy, but he’s too scared to help his best friend.   
-  
“Are you okay?” Finn asked Poe, putting down his glass of cold Bantha milk. Poe hadn’t decided if he liked the odd blue milk yet, but Finn seemed to, so he bought it anyways.   
“Poe, are you even listening?”   
“Uh, yeah.” Poe replied. “What were you saying?”  
“I said, are you okay?” Finn repeated.  
“Yep.” Poe wished he didn’t sound so fake. “I’m good.”   
Finn shifted in his seat. “Alright. Just know that I’m… Here. For you.”   
This was getting awkward.   
“I know you are.” Poe replied, and cringed. That didn’t sound the way he wanted it to.   
“I better get back to the hangar.” Finn placed the now empty glass into their chipped sink, and left.   
When Finn was deciding where to stay on the base in D’Qar, Poe immediately offered to share his small quarters with Finn.   
“It’s not like we’ll both be there all of the time.” Poe had reasoned. “And we can’t just left Finn stay with strangers. He’s a big deal.”   
So now they shared a small space, and it worked out well. Poe didn’t tend to keep many items around, and Finn didn’t have anything but Poe’s old jacket to his name. It worked out well, for the most part. When Finn and Poe weren’t both away (which was common) they’d eat together at their shabby dining table, and argue over who had to wash their small amount of dishes.   
Poe couldn’t remember a time when he’d been happier, and he assumed that Poe felt the same. But the nightmares said otherwise. His past still haunted him when his eyes were closed, and he didn’t know how to help.   
“Bye.” Poe said, long after Finn had gone out the door.   
-  
“Night.” Finn murmured.  
“That it is.” Poe replied, and Finn laughed softly.  
“Shut up.”   
Poe closed his eyes, hoping it would be a quiet night. Praying he wouldn’t have to listen to Finn’s terrifying whimpers and desperate pleas, as if sleep was worse than any wound he’s ever suffered.   
-  
Poe’s eyes fluttered open. As he adjusted to the dark, he heard the familiar sounds of torment. Finn was facing the ceiling, eyes screwed shut, gasping out nonsense and kicking his legs. Even in the dim light, he could see the sheen of sweat on Finn’s forehead.   
Poe couldn’t breathe.   
Despite the torment he was enduring, Finn looked as he did the second Poe met him. Terrified, yet strong.   
Poe pushed the covers away, and slowly sat up. His feet hit the cold floor, and the insecurity he had tied to his chest for so many nights fell away.   
One small step, and another. He kneeled down beside the sleeping man. Poe went to place his hand on his friend’s shoulder, and shake him to consciousness, but he stopped short.   
His hand instead hovered above Finn’s hair. He let it rest softly.  
“Finn,” The pilot whispered. “Finn, wake up.” The man only twisted uncomfortably, his body refusing to awake.   
Poe simply leaned in closer, and spoke louder. “Finn, it’s alright. It’s Poe, I’m right here buddy.” His eyelids fluttered, slightly. He seemed to calm, slightly. Poe let his thumb brush over Finn’s soft cheek. He knew he was lingering too long, but it seemed unfeasible to move away.   
He was quiet now, and his breathing slowly started to be normal again. Poe didn’t know how long he’d been kneeling there, but his knees began to get sore.  
Slowly, he stood up and turned around.   
-  
Poe woke up, squinting at the sunlight streaming through the small window. The pilot yawned, and slowly pulled himself out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair, and slowly padded into the main room.  
Finn was doing dishes, and they didn’t even have an argument about. Not only that, but he was humming, softly. Finn stood in the doorway for a second, just watching his roommate be completely unaware.  
“Food’s on the table.” Finn stated. Poe felt his face flush. Of course Finn knew he was there.  
As he said, a plate of breakfast and a cup of Bantha milk was waiting for him.  
“Thank you.” Poe sat down. “You’re in a good mood.”   
“Am I?” Finn asked.  
Finn still hadn’t turned to face him, but Poe grinned anyways.   
-  
On the nights when Poe’s eyes fluttered open, when Finn’s form turned over, back and forth, in the shadows, Poe would stand up.  
He didn’t mind it, kneeling beside Finn. Although he knew that it comforted his friend, he soon began to realize it had an affect on him, too.   
It was good to be so close to him. To run his fingers through Finn’s hair for a moment, to whisper comforting words.   
Poe didn’t stay by his side for too long, though. He couldn’t risk Finn waking up. It was easier to pretend as if he didn’t mind it. In truth, Poe didn’t know what Finn would think.   
-  
Poe didn’t know why he said it. Maybe it was the dull starlight that made Finn’s damp skin have a soft luster to it. Or the way his gasping breaths turned into quiet sniffles as he calmed down.   
“I love you.” he whispered. Poe wasn’t even sure if he said it, or just thought of it. But then Finn’s eyes were open, wide, and he was staring at Finn.  
Poe leaped back, a scream caught in his throat.  
“What?” Finn questioned him, eyes bleary and voice slow.  
“You were just-” Poe searched for something to say. “You were having a nightmare.”  
“You said something.” Finn stated.   
“No, I didn’t.” Poe rushed out.  
His friend stared at him for a moment. Poe left like diving back into his covers and putting the sheets over his head.   
“Alright.” Finn rested his head back onto his pillow. “Thank you for waking me up.”  
Poe’s heart thudded in his chest. He didn’t reply.   
-  
Poe did his best to avoid Finn the next day. It was simple, really. He didn’t show up at the usual time when they’d share lunch in their quarters, and avoided the hangars at all costs. The day seemed to drag on. He didn’t get to tell Finn his funny (and usually inappropriate) jokes. Poe didn’t even have anyone to flick tiny bits of bread at over the table, just because he was bored. It was agony.   
When the sun finally started to sink and everyone began to go to the small places they called home, Poe wasn’t quite sure what to do.  
He knew he was being stupid. Avoiding Finn wouldn’t fix anything. But it still felt better than the alternative.  
And the alternative, really, was being reasonable and talking to his friend.   
“Since when did I become so weak?” He asked himself. Maybe it was since he started being creepy and staying by Finn’s bedside at night. With determined steps, he made his way back to their quarters. They weren’t connected to the rest, which Poe liked. The two were lucky that their home wasn’t part of the rest of the compound, like many others. The entrance was almost unnoticeable if you didn’t know it was there. As with most of the base, it was partially underground, with smooth concrete walls and not very many amenities.  
As Poe got closer to the door, his confidence wavered. What if Finn didn’t want to share a living space anymore? It would be hard to justify Poe getting to keep the place all to himself.  
Poe put his head in his hands. This was such a mess.   
He heard the door slide open, and suddenly large, comforting hands held onto his shoulders.  
“I’m not mad at you.” Finn stated. Poe’s hands fell limply at his sides, and he stared at the ground. His feet were so close to Finn’s- Almost touching.  
“That’s good.” Poe replied, trying to seem relaxed. “I was a little worried.”  
“But I do have a question.”  
Poe heart sank again. “Yeah?”  
“What did you mean, when you said that?”  
“You heard me?”  
Finn winced. “Every time you tried to calm me down, I woke up.”  
“Seriously?” Poe felt his face heat up in embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be creepy, I just wanted you to relax.”  
“It wasn’t creepy. Honestly, I should’ve told you I remembered those times. We were both… vulnerable. Now can you answer my question?”  
“What question?” Poe stalled.  
Finn sighed. “What did you mean when you said… That you love me.”  
“What did you think I meant?”  
“Well, I hoped that you didn’t mean that I was your best friend. That it was something more.”  
“You are my best friend, Finn.” Poe responded. He could see Finn’s expression fall, slightly.  
“But I did mean more. I meant that whatever you want to do, or feel comfortable with, then I’m here for it. Always.”  
Finn’s arms wrapped around Poe’s chest, and he gladly hugged back.   
Poe hadn’t felt loved in so long. Not since a day when he was six years old, sitting on his mother’s lap as she taught him how to fly her spacecraft. Tears flooded his eyes.  
Slowly, Finn pulled away from the embrace. He saw Finn’s eyes, overflowing with emotion.  
“Are you-”  
“Yes.” Poe murmured. He stepped even closer, and let his watery eyes close. As he leaned in, his forehead abruptly bumped into Finn’s.  
“I’m sorry, I’ve never.” Finn couldn’t seem to find any words. “Done this before.”   
Poe laughed, softly. “I’d be happy to teach you.” He grabbed Finn’s warm hand from his shoulder and laced his own fingers with it.  
Grinning, they walked inside.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried a new writing style. I think it could've gone worse.


End file.
